Boys and girls have different emphasis on training

Ren Lin Xian

09 November 2018, 07:49 source: People's life times

Editor's note: boys and girls are very different in body and character. When parents are trained, they should grasp the characteristics and choose the right educational methods to cultivate them.

Boy talk about responsibility

Experts interviewed: Yang Jian, director of the Research Center for child development of Wuhan University

In different countries and cultural backgrounds, we all expect boys to be very high, but they are more likely to have problems in their growth than girls. For example, they are more naughty and more likely to be addicted to Internet addiction, smoking and drinking. How should parents train boys?

Australian expert on family issues Steve Biddulph summed up the 3 growth stages of boys before they became adults.

From birth to 6, explore the world. Yang Jian, director of the child development research center of Wuhan University, told the life times reporter that boys' stereoscopic thinking is faster than girls' development, and their athletic ability is more developed. Parents need more care to ensure safety. But in terms of language communication, boys are more than 6~12 months old than girls. They need more parental encouragement to gain self-confidence and active learning. 3~6 years old is the initial stage of children's character formation. Parents' love and companionship can help boys feel warm and trust others.

6~13 years old, gender highlighting stage. At this time, boys are interested in sports, competition, adventure and so on, and are willing to imitate men around them. Yang Jian said that this stage is the child's intelligence and ability to leap and grow up. Boys will identify and imitate their father and internalize the male role into their own behavior. Therefore, fathers should pay special attention to words and deeds. Moreover, boys are becoming more and more "cool" at this stage, with no patience to communicate and attract parents' attention by doing "bad things". Motherhood can play a role in making boys fully express their wishes.

From 14 to adulthood, physical and mental changes are great. During this period, boys will undergo a series of physiological changes, which will lead to strong sexual awareness and anxiety. Yang Jian said: "at this point, the boy yearns for independence and is confused by the lack of social experience. Parents should do two things: first, communication, increasing the time to get along with boys, giving them more opportunities to talk about; two, letting go, boys should establish a good image and self-confidence through extensive contacts with their peers.

UNESCO puts forward four pillars of Education: learning to learn, learning to do, learning to cooperate, and learning to survive and develop. Yang Jian said that children and adolescent education should aim at these four items, but there are differences in social roles between men and women. Parents should pay special attention to cultivating four kinds of consciousness of boys.

Sports consciousness. Exercise is not only conducive to physical development, but also cultivate self-confidence. When the boy is 3~6 years old, his father can take them on an outing or climb a mountain. After 6 years old, they can interact with each other, such as playing football and playing basketball. In addition, the father should tell the child in the process of exercise, be modest when winning, and be strong when losing.

Survival consciousness. Many parents feel that boys are more capable of protecting themselves than girls, and do not have to learn to cook or do housework. In fact, boys also need to develop self-protection awareness and social adaptability. After 5, parents can help boys to do simple housework. After 10, they learn to cook, take on important housework, and gradually learn to take care of themselves.

Sense of independence. After the age of 6, parents should give boys a free and independent activity space, such as having their own room. Parents should also take care of the independence of boys. If they make a mistake but do not harm themselves and others' interests, they can open their eyes. Instead, parents should talk about principles and criticize severely. It should be noted that before the age of 6, parents should tell boys to be right or wrong. After 6 years of age, parents should make sense of the truth and help them shape the right view of right and wrong.

Healthy sexual consciousness. In order to let boys become masculine and masculine men, at the age of 4, parents should allow boys to recognize gender roles, such as putting them in boys' clothes and playing with boys' toys. At age of 6~13, they should not lose their father's education; adolescence should be alert to all kinds of problems in boys' drastic changes in body and mind. Parents should also contribute to helping boys to accept changes and become happy, confident, brave and all-round development men.

(Ren Linxian)

Girls must be confident.

Which quality is the most important for girls? The CNN published recently pointed out that self-confidence is very important to the growth of girls. If they are confident, they have the courage to express themselves and not be afraid of failure, so that others can see their bright spots. Parents should not be well protected because they are girls. They should be properly challenged to cultivate self-confidence.

Let girls out of comfort zone appropriately. Having daughters, parents should try to make them comfortable in uncomfortable situations, and let them understand that adventure is a cool thing. For example, parents can talk to their daughters about how they deal with risks or remain indomitable for their goals. Encouraging daughters: "it's normal to be scared when facing challenges. Parents will also, but tell yourself that no matter what risks and hardships I face, I will persist."

Make a list of risks. Parents can make a list of their daughters, write out their risks, what abilities they have and how to overcome them, which will make them stronger. At the end of the list, you can write some words to encourage yourself, such as "I have done something similar before, and I can do it." When faced with difficulties and challenges, these words can give girls strength.

Learn to distract attention and look at problems correctly. Parents should let girls know that failure is inevitable, but they must learn how to deal with it. When things are temporarily unable to solve, you can learn to distract attention, such as reading, listening to music, or playing with your pets, etc. when the mood is calm, clear thinking, and then think of ways to solve. In addition, we should treat the problem correctly, face the challenge, do not be subjective, and listen to the opinions of family members and friends. This is conducive to solving problems objectively and rationally instead of doing things on purpose.

Learn to be yourself. Parents want their daughters to understand that we can't make everyone like or approve of themselves, so don't lose yourself or lose dignity in order to please others.

The power of example. The influence of example on children is enormous. It is more convincing for girls to see their parents' experience, especially when their mothers are faced with failure and struggle, which is more convincing than other ways of sermon. This is helpful for them to know how and how to deal with similar problems in the future. (clean government compilation)

(Editor: Xu Xiaohua, Yang Di)

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